you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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