U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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