words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
