when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
