Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
