I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
