I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
