shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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