I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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