I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize