hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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