JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
