Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think my moral compass just broke
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