Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
