After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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