I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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