I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
