Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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