Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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