whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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