Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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