he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
