I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
that is very illegal...i love you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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