Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
