Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
