just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
