I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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