We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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