Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Duck Duck Cougar?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
