We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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