Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
