At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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