Don't make out with my wife yet
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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