Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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