Don't you send me to vm
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
