Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
