1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize