My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
