I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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