Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
