I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
