i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
