he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
