walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
