Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why do cheetos always look like penises
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He did a backflip because drugs
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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