haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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