Porn is love you can see.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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