finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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