Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
