You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's blow job season.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
