There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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