She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
