she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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