So drunk its hurt
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
