i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
