He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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