yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dicks are not precious.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
