Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
