Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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