mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
