its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
