so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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