Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
